Why? Part I

The happy faces smiled at me from the instruction manual of Rebif.  Yes, you can live a full life with Multiple Sclerosis (MS) but is that all there is and there are many "what ifs".  What if, in the long run I lose my vision?  I've had optic neuritis twice and it was worse the second time.  Eventually, will I still be walking?  My friend's mother is sometimes in a wheelchair.  Oh, and don't forget that you have to have your liver tested every 6 months to make sure you are not destroying it while on the Rebif or Avonex or whatever you are on.

I had just had a baby 4 months prior to this new "episode" of optic neuritis.  I immediately had to stop breastfeeding, take a dose of steroids to stop the attack and then go on a the MS drug, Rebif.  No problem, I told myself.  It's okay.  It will heal.  I won't have blurry vision forever.  But God was talking and He wanted me to listen . . .

He was saying "You have been diagnosed with this disease. You know I have been there for you.  I've showed you how you can be a help to others going through the same journey, but are you ready to take it a step further?"  I wasn't sure what "further" meant but I was willing to take steps to find out.  I think God wants us to go on the journey.  Just look at the Israelites when they were going to the Promised Land.  To get there they had to go on a journey.
(see Why? Part II for more of what led me to holistic medicine)

So this is my journey! I am a few months into the process but my cousin was just diagnosed with Type I Diabetes and Celiacs last week.  And it hit me, she is struggling with the changes she has to make and I too struggled (and still struggling) with the changes I have had to make.  But I have the stories of others to encourage me, so far she doesn't.  And so I want to encourage you--you may not be dealing with MS but something else.  Stay strong! And go on the Journey . . . .